Jumper (Spoilers, like bad meat out of the bag)

[eyebeams]

Bad. Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.

We went to see it because I'm an idiot and because chunks of it were filmed in Peterborough. This movie looks like it was seriously retooled in post, to the extent that there are basically two movies fucking awkwardly.

Hayden Christiansen gains the power to leave Peterborough (Ann Arbor in the movie) -- a potent ability, to be sure, and envied by many -- and uses it to rob banks. Then bad guys show up. Samuel L. Jackson plays a guy who in early scenes, has off white marks on his face when he's injured, indicating a hidden Evil Albino backstory they apparently ditched. He's the leader of the Paladins (who are neither cowboys nor men with magic horsies), who have special Jumper-electrocuting sticks but no guns. They hate Jumpers for no reason we can figure out. Maybe they have a bible that says THOU SHALT NOT BANF.

In movie #1, Main Character goes back to Peterborough to hang out at bars and get acquainted with his high school sweetheart as stalkerishly as one might expect from Anakin Skywalker. I think much of that was cut, given that when it was filmed here, huge sections that were shot never made it into the final film. (He's not actually bad per se, but the script(s) is (are) awful.) The dialogue is painful and too simple for screen, but there's some ardent acting here that tries to deal with it, and can't.

Movie #2 is an actioner with sparse amounts of quick wit and moderate teleporting. The teleporting is actually given several nifty plot features (Jumpers can track other Jumpers by following a fresh teleportation spot, for instance, and reflexively head for very familiar places) but save for a few clever bits, is remarkably less dynamic than it could have been. even the teleporting car move is used for *no* reason, except that it's cool. Seriously. Jumper #2 teleports a car for no other reason than to demonstrate that he totally kicks ass. There could have been some incredible things in here, but the director(s) can't seem to figure out of to film it.

Thanks to the movie's global scope, about 25% of it is stock footage of various cities. No Bourne style super-cool washed out Europe here.

Main character's Mom ends up being a member of the Paladins in what appears to be a blatant bit of script stapling. Apparently, quasi-religious conspiracies really like planting people in ramshackle houses in hick towns, and those people marry drunk mechanics.

But as awful as this movie was, I hope it does well enough for a good sequel, because then, somebody could make a cooler movie with a better script.

Comments

[heron61.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the warning - you have given up several hours of your time to this film so others (like myself) won't make the same mistake.

[madmanofprague.livejournal.com]

You mean you don't download a movie first before deciding to pay for the theatre experience?

[notthebuddha.livejournal.com]

The dialogue is painful and too simple for screen,

I thought it was wonderfully understated, and pondered if leaving out any technobabble was the reason the film was only 88 minutes long.

Seriously. Jumper #2 teleports a car for no other reason

It sets up the fighting-with-vehicles sequences at the climax, establishes some of the limits for Jumping, and makes the hero stand out when he exceeds those limits.

Apparently, quasi-religious conspiracies really like planting people in ramshackle houses in hick towns, and those people marry drunk mechanics.

It's clear enough to me that mom arranged for the kid to be left in an obscure place, and that dad's a drunk because mom left.

[rickj.livejournal.com]

Movie #1 sounds like it's what they salvaged from the book (which is excellent) before stapling Movie #2 onto it.

[robotech-master.livejournal.com]

Yeah. The book is one of the best YA novels ever. There's very little actiony about it at all; it's more of a character study and psychological drama.

Apparently the scripter/director of the movie regarded it as little more than a "jumping-off point" for making an action movie. Bleah.

[dungeon-grrrl.livejournal.com]

Well, thanks for the warning. they managed to make the ads look good, but I can't spare time or money for the ruin of a cinematic experience you describe.